suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
I FOUND THE LEGS
I'm just glad I met someone who probably won't punch you in the face
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Going on a coke binge the night before your appointment with your therapist (to talk about your sex addiction) is prob not the best idea.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
