Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
She came over with Guinness cupcakes, a case of Mickeys, wearing an Ireland flag & nothing else.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
i got her number while she was sitting next to her boyfriend. her actual number. i might be a superhero
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
Why am I a human magnet for the worst dicks of the world?
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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