alone in the kitchen at 4 am eating a hotdog.
I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
library dates and plan B? He is looking like a great catch.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
this periodpocalypse needs to be over. I need head
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
