i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
you would think someone who fights for his country could fight to last longer than 2 minutes
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
are you just going to ignore any texts involving my penis from now on? because thats going to shut down a pretty sizeable portion of our conversations.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Randomize
