I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Sorry you had to see that, but on the bright side...at least I trust you enough to have sex in front of you
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
God does not give you boobs that amazing to not share them with your friends
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
This is my life. Currently ordering a gift for my straight married girlfriend's husband from my lesbian married girlfriend.
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