i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
I have no idea. I woke up naked on someones toilet locked in the bathroom with two baby kittens.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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