HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
