That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
We all just did coke and we're coloring so if you're sober its pointless for you to come over here
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
I just busted my piggy bank to afford McDonald's. This is my personal cry for help.
We drunkenly built a couch fort and fucked in it. I've known her since preschool. This was every childhood fantasy mixed with adult dreams come true.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Randomize
