mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
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