Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
My "High Times" magazine came in today, as well as my girlfriend's new sex toys. We're calling in sick today.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
We're so high we're finding things in the room to build a submarine with. So far we have two cardboard boxes, a piece of wood, puffy paint, and an empty bottle to use as a periscope.
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Bro, I just want to tell you that I'm glad you got fired. I'm going to fuck your replacement.
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
Does it qualify as sexting if you're both pretending to be fictional characters?
I'm not sure whether to be proud of you or weirded out.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
There is a goat eating lettuce out of our fridge. Do you wanna grab a bloody mary?
Randomize
