yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
All you kept saying was, " Barack fucking Obama. FUCK Michelle" and then you motorboated me.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
When we were finished she immediately got up, cut a star out of a piece of paper, colored it gold, taped it to my chest and deemed me the Sheriff of Sex.
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