He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I'll be listening to "I will always love you" and sobbing uncontrollably all night, care to join?
Come in your red robin gear. If you smell like French fries we can make love.
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
I wanted to make out with that blonde just so I could deck her boyfriend and make things interesting.
At least that would be something.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
did i just see you in the movie theater carrying a margarita into Frozen?
All the 6 year olds are jealous of my alcohol
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I think one make out session at a bar per year is probably the best choice.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
Randomize
