And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Come on... In this relationship-economy, you gotta have "awesome blowjobs" on your resume.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
Responsibility: Hiding your beer when your DWI clients who are out on bond come to talk to you at bars.
my night ended with a pity blow in a racecar bed
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
