just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
She is going down in cock block history. He went in to kiss me and she threw her hand between our faces and yelled "DENIED!"
i chipped my tooth tryin to cut thru her pantyhose. that stuff is bulletproof.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
My professor is wearing skinny jeans, orange socks and just said penetration. I don't know what to think
Randomize
