Note to self. Never fart in a tanning bed
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Im sitting alone watching titanic. Drunk. Without pants. Holding a fishing pole. Im pretty sure im okay with all of this.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
THIS IS A FLATMATE WARNING! The white powder next to sink is washing powder I spilled and is not meant for human comsumption. I repeat- do not digest, snort or smoke the white powder next to the sink!!!!
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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