Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
He had one of those small greek statue penises
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
We drank a $4 handle of tequila until 5 am. Please think about that.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
Send help, water and tortillas.
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
