I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
Can Purell be used as lube?
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
he's hot he just has too much baggage, and has really fucking skinny ankles which freaks me out
you aren't having sex with his ankles, As long as knee caps and above are good, i'd go for it
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
