I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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