May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
yeah, that's what i said too. right before i tackled that street sign.
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
At one point he was so drunk he was carrying around a bottle of patron drinking out of it and falling everywhere and every time he spilled it he would scream "THERE GOES TWENTY DOLLARS."
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
You pretended to be Borat in that weird slingshot bathing suit and then proceeded to send another dick pic/nude selfie and said you weren't naked because you were wearing a hat.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
I just need to find someone whose kink is financial submission.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
