Its pretty simple actually, if she texts me either Grr or Rawr it means she is horny and wants to bone. its a perfect system
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
He came over and said its legs day so put them in the air! Fucked me for 30 minutes and said he had dinner reservations to go to. Well i just ran into him and his friends hammered at Taco Bell
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I walked a mile in this weather wearing nothing but a toga. Zero fucks. Your move Mother Nature.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
jump out the window naked night went bad
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
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