Did you ever notice the eye of Sauron looks like Lindsay Lohan's vagina?
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
I stopped in the middle of puking to wish you a happy birthday, so by default it means a lot.
You misunderstood me....i wasnt asking and it is not negotiable
You're making this sound more like a hostage situation than a booty call.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
"Functional." Your standards for how you feel after drinking are so high.
When your night starts by chugging margarita and drinking vodka out of tupperware, I feel it's best to stay realistic.
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
i regret nothing
brb throwing up in the dishwasher
i regret everything
Jesus I was next level high last night having a mental epiphany about the state of Virginia
A legendary roster of degenerates has been assembled.
If you survived your 72 hour masturbation marathon put on some pants and come over. My mom dropped off a lasagna.
Randomize
