i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
bio was interesting today. swabbed my mouth to see what the cells where, ha. found a sperm cell. he was just that awesome
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
You started a dance party so that you could steal their vodka and shouted "sailors out!"
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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