im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
I am literally too baked to press the call button. How am I supposed to bone him?
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
I peed on his girlfriend's loofah during our post-sex shower.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
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