i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
if I could send you my dick right now I would. that's how good of a friend I am.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
your blue lips and tongue was their first indication you were probably underage
HEY THERE IS NO AGE LIMIT ON BLUE SLUSHIES
Also his beard was very delicious looking. I wanted to touch it so bad, but I held back.
I was afraid someone would drug test my pants so you set them on fire.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize
