Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
You can't keep basing your relationship off of the fact that you both love ramen noodles
Couldn't find any balloons, so we're doing whippets out of condoms. Being a ho has its benefits.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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