Im broke. I spend all my money on weed cigarettes alcohol and food. In that order. I cant even cut one of those because you know it'd be food. I already stopped getting my nails done just so i could support my bad habits.
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
Every time I get scared about the fact that I'm falling for him I remember that he juggles and is hung like a mastadon and everything is a-ok.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Whiskey and an unstable home life is apparently the fountain that 20-something boys like to drink from.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
I didnt finish. My brain kept playing the duck tales theme thru the entire blow job
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
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