Where are you?
In a non slutty way
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
Come help me clean. I know we won't be getting our security deposit back...but I would like to move out with our dignity.
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Seeing the pictures of him and i, I'm giving whiskey the win on this one. Definitely had beer goggles.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
He told me I had smoking hot areolas then he wins an executive of the year award. How does that even happen?
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Randomize
