I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
We can see it once so I can see the whole movie, then I'll go see it with him so I know when the boring parts are and I can have sex with him during those parts
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I just fell down my stairs, guess that's how my sunday is gonna go
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
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