the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Lets get drunk and then you just wraps me into a present because that sounds like fun after the past 3 glasses of wine I drank
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Omg my brain. Most recent thought: I fucking prayed in the bathroom that the other girl would leave. Prayed to Jesus
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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