mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
Showering in my swimsuit in hopes of getting the beer smell out.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Well if you're drunk enough to make some mistakes this week I'd be down to redeem myself for my poor performance.
Why do I always miss the parties you're naked at?!
I get naked cuz your not there
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
