They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
He kept telling me that he didn't serve two tours in Iraq for my bitch ass to drink banana rum.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
That dick was not the dick of a twenty year old
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Randomize
