I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
He wants me to have his first child. So that makes four gay men that've called dibs on my eggs.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
YOU BETTER TOUCH MY NIPPLES TODAY
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
A dozen fresh-baked cookies delivered to my dorm AND I don't have chlamydia or gonorrhea... Could this night get any better??
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
Randomize
