it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
I imagine her to be like a 19th century explorer/adventurer with different boys' hearts on her wall like animal heads
Like Teddy Roosevelt
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The bartender said he wanted to turn you gay, and we got free shots the rest of the night
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
Randomize
