I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
I'm making celebratory pizza rolls. They're a lot like regular pizza rolls, but without the taste of shame.
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I might have snap chatted him. So here's what I need you to do. Find him. Abduct him. Get his phone. View the chat so he can't. Then, buy him ice cream. He deserves ice cream.
Well, I dont really know how much penis you have at your disposal so I cant be sure
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
