I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
my mind is a poorly written porno when i'm drunk.
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
My life has come down to me literally sitting on an uncrustables trying to defrost it because I’m drunk alone and hungry.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
Randomize
