is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Sexual tension squid is drowning in the sexual tension
Props to the guy on crutches playing edward forty hands. Dedicated to drinking games is an understatement.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
He told me was "pretty like the wife in some movie where the husband is a cheater." I think I'm gonna fuck him.
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
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