uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
