you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
Last night is one of those stories you hear about on 20/20 right after they make a law banning 90% if what I did.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
an off duty cop drove behind me last night to make sure i didnt get a dui. i was blacked out drunk and on a pill of ecstacy. he knew this. i must be really pretty.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
I'm making myself a nametag with my contact info and pinning it to myself like a kindergardenter in case I get lost when I black out on Sat.
Can we laminate it? Just to be safe.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
We waved. But it was a "let's hook up" wave.
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
Any time you've had a failed relationship, I blast No Sex for Ben by The Rapture and dance around my room. I wish I was joking.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
