You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I didn't cheat on him. He just hasn't been informed of the open part of our relationship.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
At IHOP. It feels weird and sad that your cleavage isn't here for me to try to toss paper wads into.
My friend Julia's mom just called her to say she got a puzzle in the mail made of cheese and when she put it together it spelled FUCK YOU and she doesn't know who it's from.
Do you ever look at your life and go "i'm too sober for this bullshit"?
Every day of my life.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
