what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
So never has there been a greater Valentine's Day gift than you actually putting a new roll of toilet paper on for me after using the old roll up! You didn't even use the new roll. You clearly put that on from a gentleman's standpoint vs. a selfish standpoint. I love you!!!!
I thought I'd never say this, but if I had to choose between these cookies and sex, it would be these cookies
I want a dick in my left hand and a Crunch Wrap Supreme in my right hand.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
