I can tuck mytits in my pants
she gave me a schnouzer then wanted to kiss while we were having sex...i had to puppy slap her nose. pick me up out front.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't know if you've ever seen a group of 20 year olds reenact a rectal prolapse, but 'majestic' isn't really the word I'd use...
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
So this morning when I woke up. I found my refrigerator open and no more food. It was empty, I'm home alone for the week. Where in hell did that food go?
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
I hate waking up to a room that reeks of bad decisions...
Randomize
