He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
Hey baby girl when you gonna let my tongue get up in that ass like i'm an explorer trying to go deep under on a quest for the lost city of atlantis
your text was fucking rediculious. Will let you eat my asshole though.
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
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