we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
You lit the bowl with a rolled up paper towel that you ignited on the stove.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
Randomize
