is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
By the way when you were super fucked up last night, you ate cat food and tried to tell me it was healthy for you
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
Def something wrong w taking plan b with your daughters juice box
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
Is it acceptable to have my intern get me pedialite and plan b?
It's a learning experience. She can add to her resume that she cured her bosses hangover and poor decisions
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
The fact that the praying hands are in my top emojis defines how 2016 is going so far
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
