You know you have a problem when you walk into your bathroom find kettle one in your shower and a note you wrote yourself when drunk that says "panties at jared leto's" on your counter
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
I want to reach into my vagina and rip out my uterus with my bare hands. Understand how much it hurts now?
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I feel like we have both made good decisions regarding our vaginas lately
I lost the back to your old name tag last night in a girls shirt. It got me a view of some titties though, I guess in some way you're still doing your brotherly deeds
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
i pushed adam in a shopping cart for 15 blocks, then we realized we left tyler downtown
did you go back and get him?
nah we went to a karaoke bar instead, so worth it
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Randomize
