Apparently I'm the guy that didn't get the memo that Afliction and wifebeaters were the proper attire for tonight... so I'll just sit here alone in my sweatervest and be judged.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Maybe shotgunning 4 days after oral surgery wasn't such a good idea after all...
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
EARTHQUAKE STATUS DRINKING GAME
I'm beginning to think the only reason I get laid anymore is girls are fantasizing sleeping with my dad...
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
it is shots o' clock and I am never late
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Wow two curved penises in one weekend. I feel like this may be good luck. Like finding a four leaf clover
All I fucking want right now is a cheeseburger the size of my face
Randomize
