Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
I might get fired at work today. I had to prioritize. It's not my fault Cockasaurus came over.
we seriously had to hang a plastic bag on his ears so he could throw up right into it.
I went golfing for the first time today!! Aren't you proud?
Driving a golf cart around all day with a keg attatched to the back doesn't exactly count as golfing
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I don't know but this 12 year old kid is soaking up all of our bad morals like a super tampon on the second day of my period
Woke up, moved an empty handle of fireball to spit blood, then put the morning cigarette out in it.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
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