is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
For the record, just because I'm a mess doesn't mean I don't know what I'm talking about when I give you advice. I'm way better at other people's lives.
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Drunk me is having trouble keeping up with sober me's standards
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
