I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
I'm having sex on a snuggie, yes i stopped to text you
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Nope. If I'm going to drive an hour to fuck a teacher, it will NOT be missionary thats for damn sure.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
Then again I went over his house after not hanging out since kindergarten and tried to fuck him so maybe I'm partially to blame here
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
