We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
She bent the beer can with her tongue. I'm scared of what she'll do to me
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
I texted her that I burned my tongue drinking coffee so it hurt to talk or kiss... How many points do I get for doing her without talking or making out first?
Randomize
