I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
of course. lets lasso hookers.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Randomize
