Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
picked up a girl by parallel parking. i love this town already.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
he peed on his own floor last night after we left the bar. pretty much sums up how i feel about the evening
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
She was just a sweet cute intern for us until I saw her naked in my bed the day after the Christmas party
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
no no no no you can't just say your dirtiest secret is "i sat on goldfish by accident once" and just leave i have QUESTIONS
AT LEAST TELL ME IF THE GOLDFISH WAS STILL IN A BOWL??????????????
Randomize
